LooseCrew-JeffO: Friends & Success


Ramblings of an adventurous guy living in Denver and playing in the mountains.
For my trail adventures, visit my Trail Bum blog

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Friends & Success

Here I am at my favorite coffee shop, Kaladi's.

In recent days, I've been thinking a lot about friends and purpose or motive. I want the product of my life to be good. There are sometimes things I try which fail. When you fail at something that doesn't involve other people's input, like working on computers, or solo mountain climbing, then you have total control over improvements to your methods; you can re-steer and change the outcome. It's total control.

When I met my sometimes-climbing-partner, Phil, I was on a solo climb of Wilson Peak in late-spring snow. Phil's party camped nearby, at the low camp. My high camp was completely above treeline at the northwest base below Rock of Ages Pass. The next day, I woke up at about 3am and was cramponing up the frozen snow in the dark. By the time I descended, Phil's party was just then reaching my camp.
They didn't summit. The more people you have involved, the least likely you are to succeed. Climbing parties move at the pace of the least common denominator. That's why many parties split in two for the final summit push. Phil's party even did that, but too late and the summit party never made it.

Relationships are like that. It takes two to tango. If one person refuses to participate, it's not going to work - no matter how much the other tries.
Or maybe they each participate, but one demands more involvement than the other is willing to give.
Hopefully, when one level of relationship fails, they can ratchet-down to the next level below and keep cruising. The healthiest people can do this, but sometimes there's hard feelings that cause total severance. What a shame. That's why so many fear "going to the next level".

My dream is to inspire people to be more than they are. Some dream of wealth or power, some dream of romance and security. I dream of inspiring others to be the most that they can be.
My relationships tend to be shallow and fleeting. This is partly because I'm trying to "touch" as many people as possible. I hope to gain as much as I give.
I don't want people to "be like me". I don't think I'm great, so I'm not worthy of being emulated. But I do think I can show people that their "limits" are nearly always self-imposed, psychological phenomenon. The weakest among us are actually very powerful, but they don't or won't realize this fact.
Doing amazing things doesn't mean you're totally amazing. It can mean you're a normal person who does extraordinary things. Normal people can fail, and end up doing total shit. And they can succeed and do amazing things.
Whether we succeed or fail, it becomes history. We shouldn't get stuck in the past. What you did yesterday was yesterday. This is now. So failure can't hold you back, and success doesn't absolve you from trying to be amazing each new day.


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