The Weird Post
For Saturday, I went running with someone from out of town. She was training for her first ultra. We went for two hours. It was a good time - I always like meeting people from other states - people I've never met before and maybe never will again. Two ships passing...
Red Hot 50K in one more week.
I noticed something disturbing this morning. I was taking a shower and noticed that I have fat on my ass. This wouldn't be such an odd thing for most people, but first, I'm an ultra-runner who ran 2400 miles last year, and second, I'm the buttless-wonder. I thought, "So my real ass, the one made out of meat, is EVEN SMALLER?!?! OMG! If it wasn't for this fat, I'd totally have NO ASS AT ALL!! I'd have to get a prosthetic ass!"
Some women get their breasts "done". They sit around with close friends and say, "I had them done. How do they look?"
I can see myself now after having my ass done... "Dude, look at my ass. I just had it done. Does it look natural? No, you can't touch it - but your girlfriend can, and she can give you the report. It hurt a little at first, but it was worth it."
Yes, this is a weird post of random jibberishnesses. I'm not done...
My 40's have been the best decade of my life. It is so true that 40-something is the new 30-something. We are looking better and feeling better than ever before - !IF! we follow all the latest research on health, nutrition, exercise, etc. I'm now in the last year of the best decade of my life.
In spite of being a good year, my body still acts like it's truly 49 years old. I have to shave my ears (Eeeeoooooo!!!!!! TMI!). Maybe if I let it grow out I could braid little pony-tails? I could guru a new thing - like Goth for old people. Maybe we could all go around with little pony-tails from our ears, noses, and moles. Hey, it can't be worse than cutting into your earlobe and stretching a hole out so much you can fit a 2" diamter thingy into it. Or sticking 5 pieces of metal into your lip. Or, "I'm so ugly that I want to make it worse and draw attention to the fact at the same time!"
Maybe I could meet other old women with pony-tails in their armpits. We could go to Grateful Dead concerts and sit around complaining about young people.
Or not. It was just a thought.
posted by JeffO @ 11:16 AM
9 Comments:
Jeff, that is a hilarious post. I hear you about the ear hair thing. I trim those suckers like every two weeks and within a couple of days there's hair there again. It's just the cruelness of nature that as the hairline on my head is receding, it's compensated by growing hair everywhere else: my back, my ears, my shoulders. I feel like I have to spend so much time primping these days just to not look like a wild man.
Well, when you have your butt done, we can exchange about how it felt after - only I'll be the one talking boobs:) Man, I always had butt, it's my signature, and this months I noticed it got skinnier? Like, wtf? I want my fat ass back! LOL! I think it got scared of all this HR thing. Are you coming to hang out again?
Good luck on Saturday! Wish I was going.
Good luck on Saturday! Wish I was going.
Definitely a weird post! LOL
See ya in Moab! It is going to be a great run, the weather forecast looks like it might rain, hope not. Very funny post by the way.
Only moments ago I knew very little about you, and now I know sooooo much. Just don't braid the hair that grows out of your ass ;)
This is a regular geezer geyser!
Kevin - It's not that we're getting fat. Our shirts are puffed out because of all the hair, right?
Olga - You're supposed to have butt. Somehow your big butt looks a million times better than mine. See how that works?
Justin - It should be a great time in Moab. Seeya on the flip.
Talon - Coffee Sunday or Monday?
Shad - We'll do good no matter what the weather. It's an adventure!
Holly - Sorry for the TMI. I guess we covered lots of ground real fast, sorta. So now you're already like family!
Well, just keep us informed of your butt implants (something women also get). And no, I won't want to touch.
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