Why?

I couldn't find a marathon to run this past weekend, so I ran a half-marathon and then ran 8 fast miles the next day.
It's time to start ramping it up.

I've had minor injuries in the past year. My knee last November, a few ligaments here-and-there, my left ankle after Pikes, but they all feel okay (mostly). I feel strong, today - like an X-man. I hope things don't unravel during this year's Grand Finale in October.

I love running. It's hard to explain. My father was an engineer, two of my brothers are engineers, I was a tool&die machinist but now I'm in computer and networking technology. My mind relaxes best when there's a repetitive, technical set of problems for me to solve. Preferably not problems that are too much work. Like a game of solitaire, but add endorphins. It has to be trails. Distance alone is generally too boring. I love billy-goating up and down rocky trails and rollie-pollie rocks. I'm not a fan of gluey or slippery mud, but the more watery kind that makes you finish as filthy as a pig is fine with me. The technical aspects of my footing, my pace, how hydrated I am, whether or not I'm on-course, etc. These are all things that keep me focused - but not so overly focused that it's a chore.

I run for my son, who needs someone to look up to.
I run to burn off stress.
I run because I have this schizo sort of thing going on where I'm like my own father and son. A little-boy part of me needs to look up to the man in me. And that man in me can't ever let that kid down. Cause if the man in me ever lets the kid in me down, then maybe the kid will stop trying. I'm afraid the man in me just doesn't have the passion left to put up with so much of what life hands him. If the kid in me loses his passion, well, it'll be a bad thing. Not just for me but for those whose lives are somehow connected to mine.

I don't know how badly my own son may need me to run. Probably not at all. It's just something that works for me. So I'm just seeing how far it can take me.

It's an obsession. Nothing, in excess, is good. But what's "excess"? When it starts detracting from other areas of life? That's not quite accurate, either. Your job detracts from the quality of life sometimes. There has to be balance.
I guess the big question is whether or not you're contributing more to this world or less. Just because you impress people doesn't mean you're contributing. However, having character and inspiring people to be more than they are - THAT'S what it's all about! That's a successful direction and life. As long as I don't loose sight of that mission, I can't lose. I'm not just trying to run 100 miles, I want to take as many people there with me as possible. Even if they can't or don't run, I want them to feel what I feel when I'm really living life. And I hope they enjoy waking up as much as I do each morning.

I love this shit. I'm totally crazy about running and wish this old body could do more of it. I guess I'm gonna find out!